


Something to believe in

by Starkidlabs



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015), The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: A lot of Star Wars Analogies, Multi, There were so little Winnsco fics I had to write one myself, alcohol mention, fluff mainly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-01
Updated: 2017-05-03
Packaged: 2018-10-26 01:49:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,527
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10776921
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Starkidlabs/pseuds/Starkidlabs
Summary: It's Kara's birthday and some unexpected visitors portal into her apartment, one of which Winn has been waiting to meet for a very long time. However he soon discovers that Cisco isn't all inventions and witty remarks but  has a deep anxiety that he knows all too well.A small chaptered fic surrounding two nerds battling fear, emotions and karaoke.





	1. Suit talk

 

 

“Surprise!” Barry shouted as he jumped out of the swirling blue mass that lead to his earth. Kara, spilling her coffee, jolted up from the lounging position she had procured on her sofa. Her eyes widened with excitement as she realised exactly what had just happened. Alex and Maggie pushed back from the table in disbelief. Maggie instinctually reached to her pocket to pull out her gun but once she saw Kara skip towards and hug the tallest of the three people now present she relaxed.

Iris squinted as she looked around Kara’s apartment, taking in every slight detail she could, after all this is the first time she had travelled to a different earth. Whereas Cisco, being an expert in this sort of thing, just gave a warm smile in the direction of Maggie and Alex who were still staring with perplexed expressions. After Kara had embraced Iris and caused Cisco to splutter with her bear like grip she turned to Barry, grinning ear to ear.

“What are you guys doing here?” 

Barry smiled back and pointed at a shoddily hung banner on her wall. "It’s your birthday…. We thought we’d come for the party.” 

Iris then produced a sparkly red bag, overflowing with blue tissue paper, from behind her back. Kara squealed in excitement as she hugged Barry and Iris once again. She turned to look at Alex to share her happiness but after seeing the confusion on her and Maggie’s face she realised that the situation that just occurred was probably very weird considering that neither knew Barry, Iris or her inter-dimensional travelling friend.

Kara coughed a little and then spoke. “This is Barry Allen or as you may know him the blur…” at that Iris and Cisco turned to each other with raised brows and smiled before bursting into a fit of laughter, Barry’s face turned redder than his suit.

"This is Iris West Top notch journalist and Barry’s fiancé.” Kara continued as Iris straightened up and waved. “And Cisco Ramon meta human slash tech genius.” Cisco was still trying to suppress his laughter and therefore didn’t look towards them. Alex rose from her chair and made towards the others. 

“Tech genius huh? I think we have a friend that would just love you…”she beamed and held out a hand which Cisco in turn shook. “I’m Alex Danvers and that’s my girlfriend Maggie.”

“Nice to meet you…..sorry for portaling in the middle of everything. “Cisco paused. “I mean we would’ve called but you know bad service.” He shrugged a little as he reached out to shake Maggie’s hand who was located just behind Alex. The doorbell rang interjecting the introductions.

“And that would be our nerd friend.” Maggie said as she drank from her coffee cup.

Kara ran towards the door with a spring in her step, obviously still overjoyed from her surprise guests. Eagerly, she unbolted the door and threw it upon with such ferocity that the two men behind it stumbled backwards slightly. But they seem unfazed over all as they entered the apartment quickly afterwards. They were so caught up in conversation that they had reached the table before realising what was wrong with the situation.

“Barry.” the taller man exclaimed.

“And friends…..” the other muttered with a questioning expression. He looked at Iris and then lingered on Cisco for a few seconds. “Friends I do not know.”

Kara just laughed "Winn, James I’d like you to meet Cisco Ramon and Iris west.” Winn’s heart skipped a beat as he was suddenly filled with a weird sense of joy he couldn’t explain. Ever since Kara had given him the portal device and explained exactly who had given it to her he had started to imagine exactly what this Cisco Ramon would be like and in all honesty judging by his Lord of the Rings t-shirt and his amazing dark hair which cascaded just past his shoulders he was so much better than he expected. 

James had already started to make introductions with Iris when Winn suddenly realised he was blushing and that he had been grinning like an idiot for the past 30 seconds. He put his hand over his mouth and pulled down as if to wipe away his smile. Finally he took a deep breath and went up to Cisco who seemed to be gazing into space.

“Err hi there.” Winn waved and Cisco snapped back to reality.

“Err Hi…” he responded a little dazed. He bit his lip and looked Winn up and down. “You must be that tech genius Alex mentioned.” Winn turned even a darker shade of red.

“Well I wouldn’t say genius….” Winn replied still with that stupid grin on his face. “How did you figure it was me and not James?”

“I got an eye for these sorts of things.” He winked. “Also you’re carrying around your laptop like its your child” Winn looked down and realised that had forgotten to place it in his satchel and that he was hugging it tightly due to his nerves. He laughed to himself as he slid it down on the kitchen counter.

“You’ve got some nice detective skills there Mr Ramon.” Cisco nodded in acknowledgement and bowed in a sarcastic manner. Kara swerved around the coffee table to join their conversation. She gripped both of their shoulders enthusiastically almost squeezing the life out of them both.

“I’m glad to see that you guys are getting on.” She stared at Winn in particular who she could clearly tell was flustered. Cisco, on the other hand, seemed oblivious to Winn’s feelings. Noticing Kara’s smirk Winn quickly interjected before she could show him up.

“Oh yeah we are best friends already.” he began to laugh in an odd nervous manner for a few seconds and then paused awkwardly. 

To Winn’s relief Cisco smiled genuinely as he gently placed his hand on his other shoulder  “We are Totally best friends.”

Kara seemed really happy at his comment and grinned before speaking “Well anyway we're going to order some pizzas, any requests???”

Both Cisco’s and Winn’s eyes lit up as they simultaneously said “Any Pizza is good pizza”. Which was followed by their jaws dropping in disbelief at how unsung they were.

“Wow you guys are ‘totally best friends’” Kara said impressed. “Oh and Cisco is anyone else coming that I should know about because with us 3 and Barry combined I need to know if I should hire out the entire pizza place. Is Wally coming? Caitlin?” at that the happiness drifted from Cisco’s face. He suddenly let go of Winn’s shoulder and breathed deeply.

“Err Wally stayed behind to watch the city….” He paused. “And Caitlin is no longer with us.” Kara clasped her hands over her mouth and shook her head a little whereas Winn just looked in confusion.

“Is she…” Kara croaked without wanting to say the word.

Cisco gave out a half-hearted laugh as if to mask his pain. “No She’s not dead… well not physically at least.” Kara moved her hands away from her mouth and swallowed hard. “You know she had powers she couldn’t use…” she nodded. “Well they took over. We managed to get her back just enough to stop her from killing people but….” He had to double take remembering the heartache he felt when he saw the news headline about KillerFrosts first victim “She’s gone. We haven’t seen her, heard from her in almost 3 months. Not a whisper of her name, not a beep on the monitor. Nothing.” He tried his hardest to push back the tears.

He looked away slightly so not to allow the other two to see his pain and placed his hands on his hips. “But she’s alive. I know she’s alive.” He turned back to face his friends who were now wearing the oh so familiar looks of sympathy. He remembered them from when Ronnie died and especially when Dante died. If anything sympathy made things worse.

“I’m so sorry Cisco I wouldn’t have said anything if…” Kara began but Cisco cut her off giving a false smile which calmed her guilt.

“It’s ok Kara you didn’t know.” He looked down at his scuffed shoes. His head rose as a happier tone filled his voice “Anyway it’s supposed to be your birthday not a sad convention. We shouldn’t be thinking of the past but thinking of how to get you and Barry drunk.”

Kara’s face instantly became brighter as she raised an eyebrow. “I Think I have the perfect solution….” She produced two large green bottles from the table beside her. “These are from the alien bar we go to and they are really, really strong. If they can get me drunk there is no doubt in my mind that Barry won’t be sober by the end of tonight.” Cisco grasped the bottle in his hand and inspected it, furrowed his brow and then grinned with approval. Kara sighed and sweetly patted Cisco on the back before running over to Alex to spout about something that she made sound far more exciting than it probably was. 

However Winn stayed put with a slight frown on his face he stared into Cisco’s deep dark eyes which seemed to hold a multiverse inside of them, they were far more tired than they first appeared. Not just tired from the obvious sleep deprivation but from carrying the weight of the world on his shoulder. Imagining what he’d been through in the past few months made Winn feel a pit of pain open within his stomach. He remembered when he had asked Kara what happened on the other earth and especially what Cisco was like as if he were an excited child wanting to hear a bed time story. She had mentioned his humour and his intellect but she also mentioned the fact that he seemed broken because his brother had died due to a mistake Barry had made. Winn had lost a lot, he allowed himself to acknowledge that much but he couldn’t imagine losing so many people you hold dear just a few months apart. But he could imagine that Cisco was hurting deeply and he also knew that he hadn’t be comforted the way he needed. Because when you’re the light hearted science nerd who’s always cracking jokes you become inclined in using humour to cover up that pain so no one else feels it. You have to catch the hero when they fall despite the fact that when you catch them you break ever so slightly more. Cisco looked like he was barely holding together, that he had tried to keep himself together for the sake of his friends but the fact was all the coping methods he had used were tugging away at him replacing who he was until there was nothing left. Winn felt that happen to him when his father was put in prison and he could still feel it happening now and he knew Cisco could feel it too but to a much greater extent. Suddenly Winn saw a hand blur in front of him as Cisco’s voice echoed out to him.

“Winn you have been staring into my eyes for a good 30 seconds now… I know they’re dreamy and all but…” Winn snapped out of his thoughts.

“Oh god I’m sorry I… just get lost in my own thoughts sometimes.” Winn had grown hotter with embarrassment and quickly reached for a bottle of beer which had been placed on the counter beside him. Cisco shrugged it off.

“It’s ok dude I know that feeling.” There was a moment of silence as Winn opened his bottle. He was unable to get the image of Cisco’s sorrowful expression out of his mind, it reminded him of himself in a way. Winn looked down at his bottle and examined every detail, the way the glass reflected the light and the cool grey label that he was so eager to pick off. But then he looked back a Cisco’s now happy face that was peering around Kara’s apartment once more taking in the ambience of the different earth. Winn smiled for a second in appreciation of the sunshine peering onto Cisco’s hair, the shine highlighting his strong conditioner game. The sun made him glow and almost washed away the sadness from his eyes. Despite knowing how Cisco really felt he couldn’t help but feel warmth at his fake happiness.

“Hey cisco.” He said as he felt his heart racing a little faster and anxiety rile up inside him Cisco stopped gazing out of the window at the nearby tower block and directed his attention towards Winn.

 

“Mhmm”

“I have these designs…..to remodel some of the Super Friend’s suits and I’ve been waiting for someone to look over them with me.” Winn peered at him hopefully to indicate that he wanted Cisco’s help despite being more than capable to finish them on his own. If Cisco was really anything like Winn designing superhero suits would detach him from his problems for a little while. 

“Super Friends?" Cisco looked amused.

"Oh yeah it's a name I came up for our team as in Kara, James maybe J’onn..." Winn scrunched up his nose and looked a little sheepish 

“Super friends is a great name....." Cisco laughed and truthfully he loved the title and was trying to find a way to incorporate it into team flash. Yet he saw that Winn was still looking a little embarrassed. “So what were those designs you wanted to show me?" 

Winn stood up straight, placed the beer on the counter next to his laptop and proudly produced a tablet from the bag that was still hanging loosely from his shoulder. He screwed his eyes up in concentration as he began to tap away trying to find the right model. Cisco tried to peer over his shoulder to look at the screen but Winn immediately pulled towards his chest.

"Uhh no peeking." He said in a joking tone but still clasped it tightly away from Cisco’s view. He then moved across the room and pulled out a stall which produced a squeak as it moved against the hard floor. Cisco’s eyes followed him but he didn't move from his spot. The tablet was placed lovingly on the splintered table Winn rolled his eyes at Cisco and patted the chair next to indicate that he was in fact allowed to follow him. Cisco threw his legs over the seat and rested his elbow on the table. On the screen was a roughly sketched model of Kara but the more prominent art was the suit she was wearing. The iconic supergirl symbol was still placed at the chest area but instead of her red skirt Winn had now changed the design to incorporate a two piece navy blue bodysuit complete with long pants and dark red boots that reached just above the knee. 

"I know Kara doesn't get cold because of being a Krytonian and pretty much immune to all things. But I just wanted to rehash the design a little. I thought it would be good for cosplayers in the winter months.” Winn was moving his hands in various directions as if he were talking with them. “Oh and kids at Halloween wouldn’t have to wear thin tights in order to be accurate and there were so many kids dressed as her last year it was adorable.... she has so many cute pictures." he paused and smiled at the fond memory. “I get that her costume is iconic but she could alternate between suits or something. I don't really know I just like designing things." Winn took a deep breath and wished he hadn't shared his designs it was definitely a work in progress and a pretty stupid idea anyway. But Cisco didn't think so.

'Oh dude that's awesome...” he zoomed in on the pictures to look at the small loving details that had been enthused into ithem. Winn was overjoyed with Cisco’s appreciation for some reason he'd been scared that Cisco the master of suits would be a harsh critic. 

"So you don't think it's stupid?" Winn held his breath.

"What? No it's totally badass." He slid the tablet back down on the table for a moment. “You know what? You and I should definitely have some form of suit workshop. I mean you could come to Star Labs, work on the suits, marathon Star Trek and order as much pizza as we can handle..."  Winn suddenly felt himself become lighter as the tension inside him eased away at the thought of being able to see Cisco again. 

"Yeah that would be great" Winn said dreamily before sitting up straighter. 

"Oh and I will totally make you a suit." Cisco smirked as he poked Winn on the arm for emphasis. 

"Me? But I'm not a superhero...” 

"Well you definitely still deserve a suit, and who knows one day you may be effected by some freak science accident and discover that when you get really bad headaches you can see your own death over and over." Winn tilted his head a little in confusion. “Maybe that's just a me thing. But still even if you just wear it to comic con I'm gonna make you one. Why should the superheroes have all the fun?" Winn chuckled and leant his arm on the table placing his head on his hand. He smiled a toothy grin and began to admire Cisco even more than before. More than he ever thought he would.

Cisco pushed his hair away from his face, smiling then muttered “Oh god his hair looks sexy pushed back.” just quiet enough so no one else would hear.


	2. Roof Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Winn finds Cisco on the roof and finds out that they have similar fears

The sun had settled below the city which had caused a warm amber glow to fade through the wide open windows of Kara’s apartment. The mood was now livelier and the bass of the stereo caused the rhythm to flow through the floorboards. With the edition of the final guests Lena and J’onn Kara had finally decided to open the alien alcohol which had hit Barry faster than he could run. Soon Alex and Maggie had wheeled out the TV from the side of room as Kara tried to find a way to connect the microphones to it. Already starting to feel the effects of the alcohol she had failed to notice that they were wireless, it took her 3 solid attempts to try and find the wires until Lena graciously took them out of her hands. After Lena tapped the mics indicating they were working Kara stole them from her hands and less than amply made her way to the centre of the room.

“It’s time for Karaoke!” She screamed. And received an astounding amounts of cheers in response. Winn and Cisco were now leaning against the kitchen counter eating a large bowl of rocky road ice-cream between them. They had since moved on from talking about suits and were now discussing the parallels between their earths versions on Harry Potter, due to the in depth nerd talk they were probably the most sober in the room next to J’onn who had volunteered to be a designated driver. So when the others cheered they simply pried their eyes away from each other and looked towards where the others were gathered. Kara continued “Or should I say KARA-OKE.” 

“Boo, get off the stage.” Winn Heckled from the side. Cisco chuckled and gave him a secretive high five. To which Winn beamed in response. Kara simply shook her head with a wide smile and grabbed Lena’s wrist to pull her ‘on stage’. She pressed a button which began to blast out ‘take me or leave me’, Lena blushed slightly and screwed her mouth into a smile, she was really nervous considering that she wasn’t particularly familiar with Kara’s friends. Yet Kara began the song in perfect pitch making Lena untwist her arms and start to feel the beat. Cisco picked up a bottle from next to him and took a quick swig from it

“Nervous?” Winn asked as his eyes followed the bottle until it clanked back onto the counter surface. Cisco just took a deep breath. Cisco didn't reply rather just swished the alcohol around in his mouth with a pensive expression. "Come on I’m sure you have an amazing voice..." Winn gave a small considerate smile.

Cisco swallowed his drink “Oh yeah I have an amazing voice." Winn was caught off guard and grew a little bemused. Cisco chuckled slightly at his puzzled expression. "My mom forced me to go to singing lessons as a kid thought that me and brother could start up some creepy family band which obviously didn't work out.... otherwise you may have been singing the Ramon brothers rather than Rent." 

Winn’s eyes screwed up as his polite smile turned to a smirk. “Maybe we should have a sing off some time" it was now Cisco’s turn to look bewildered "I wasn't just a science nerd in high school I was also a self-proclaimed theatre kid....Meaning I would practice singing songs from Les Mis an Newsies in my room until about 1am every night?" They locked eyes for a moment in fake rivalry but ended up breaking it off with awkward laughter. Before they could continue the song had ended and Maggie had waltzed to the centre of the room.

“Hey Danvers it looks like it's our turn." Alex raised an eyebrow and rolled her eyes shoving her beer into James' hand. There was a scatter of applause mainly from Barry and Kara. Winn and Cisco turned to the front once again and looked expectantly. Alex took the second mic out of Maggie’s hand and placed it close to her lips as their eyes fell to each other lovingly. Lena pushed down the play button on the karaoke box as the tune to 'summer nights' spread throughout the dimly lit apartment. 

Cisco’s face fell as his eyes glazed over. The air became thin around him as it became harder to breath, he needed to leave. He raised from his slouching position and made towards the door. Luckily Maggie’s out of pitch singing drowned out his footsteps causing everyone's attention to not stray from the poor entertainment. He softly shut the door behind him and planned his best escape route, he clambered up the stairs, gripping to the metal railing until he reached the top. Slightly out of breath he threw open the bolted door and stepped outside onto the roof of the apartment block. He felt the crisp cool air press against his face and allowed for the warm tears welling in his eyes to become more prominent. A patch of mist surrounded him as he caught his breath. It had become noticeably darker the artificial lighting from the buildings and street below blocked out any chance of seeing stars. Cisco held out his hand in front of him and waited for the wisps of blue to crack from his palm. 

“Hey what are you doing?" Cisco felt his whole body go stiff as the world suddenly grew hotter in panic despite the whirlwind of frost that was trying to break through his jacket. The portal dissolved as Cisco swung round to see Winn standing near the door he'd flung himself out of. Cisco bit the inside of his mouth and chewed on it as Winn came closer to him. It wasn't too late to open a portal and disappear to an Earth where a situation such as this would never happen but instead he stayed frozen on the spot. Winn drew close enough for Cisco to stare into the deep ocean of his eyes which were already swirling with emotion. Winn placed his hand onto Cisco’s shoulder, maintaining eye contact as his Brow furrowed.

“Cisco what's wrong?" He whispered concerned. He could have come up with an excuse, say that he left the stove on and had to go home or something more ambiguous but instead Cisco cracked. His bottom lip began to tremble as he felt a tear break free and make a path down his hot cheek. He looked away not wanting Winn to see him, anyone one to see him he tried manoeuvre himself away. Suddenly Cisco’s pain registered with Winn.  
"Hey...Cisco...Cisco...." he said with a lump in his throat but Cisco refused to face him.

Winn took invasive action. He slid his hand down from Cisco’s Shoulder and placed it on his back as he wrapped his other arm around him and pulled him in close. Winn gripped tight. Cisco, realising that there was no point in hiding, sunk his head into Winn’s shoulder. His tears fell piercing through Winn’s linen shirt and allowing the small puddle to stain Cisco’s cheeks. Winn just moved his hand in a circular motion on his back giving him a form of comfort. Cisco could feel Winn’s soft heartbeat move through his body which brought a sense of safety to him. He was crying the hardest he had since losing Dante, it was hard to stop. It took him a long time before he gained the courage to pull away. 

He gave Winn a weak smile as to say thank you and moved towards the bars at the edge of the building, Winn followed as if he were his shadow. Cisco carefully leaned over to look at the gaping drop below, at the tiny people taking part in their normal routine not realising how close he was to falling. He rested his head on the bar and continued to stare as he let his mind clear because there were no more tears left to fall. Winn shuffled close to him and leant over. 

"I'm sorry about that" Cisco croaked through muffled clothing. 

"Don't be sorry Cisco” he whispered back. There was a longer pause this time before Cisco rose and moved towards a broken garden sofa someone had brought onto the roof. He looked at the mysterious dark patch in the centre before deciding to chance it by sitting down anyway. Winn allowed him to have a couple of minutes to himself before following. After a while Cisco finally broke the silence. 

"That was Caitlin's go to karaoke song..." he paused for a while. " She made me promise to go once every month with her after Ronnie died the first time round." Cisco faltered a little. Winn just continued to stare sympathetically not wanting to interject but wishing he could say something that would make everything instantly better. “I know It’s just a song but I can’t help but think of her when I hear it. I thought that I would be ready... to have fun again without feeling guilty about it." He laughed in frustration “I mean it's been 3 whole months since I've even tried to have fun and still somehow I still can't keep it together..." Cisco voice rose as he could feel the tears climb again. 

"You don't have to keep it together." Winn said gently. He felt Winn’s hand interlock with his own and squeeze it tightly, the warmth stolen from him passed up Cisco’s arm causing sensation to form in his body numbed from grief. But he still refused to look at Him, to let him see his broken facade that he spent so long gluing together. There was a long awful silence which allowed the torment to eat away at them both. Cisco refused to let go of Winn’s hand in fear that if he did he would crumble. 

After a while Cisco spoke again "When I lost Dante I thought that it was impossible to feel any worse. He was gone for good and there was no way I could ever bring him back." He breathed uneasily. “I was falling apart inside but despite that, despite the endless hours of tormenting myself with what ifs and the countless hours spent in counselling somehow the pain I'm feeling now..." His voice began to tremble as he felt a lump form in his throat. "Is worst pain I have ever felt." 

He stared up at the sky. At the dark void of nothingness that he wished would just consume him so he didn't have to feel anymore. Winn stared at him, at his tear stained cheek and how his eyes shone in the harsh moonlight he wanted to help him he wanted to say that things would get better but he didn't know if things ever did. 

"With Dante I knew he was never coming back... that he was gone forever." He paused again “That song suddenly playing reminded me that Caitlin could turn up at any moment and that somehow that's so much worse than being gone for good. The fact that she's not…her" he chocked. “She’s the Caitlin that only feels power and hate. She looks like her, has all of her memories but she’s not Caitlin… She’s not the Caitlin I want to remember. Not the one I want to think of when I hear summer lovin' or see her photo.” he squeezed Winn’s hand tighter as if he were gripping for his life  
"I sometimes wish that her powers hadn’t saved her ... " his breath grew heavier as the hum of the ventilation system began chewing on his brain. He felt physically sick for muttering those words and wondered what convinced him to speak a truth he didn't even want to admit himself.

"I just..." he tried to think through his words carefully as he could feel Winn’s eyes drawn upon him. “Caitlin never wanted to become her.... she begged me to let her die rather than have her become Killerfrost… " he pushed his hair away from his eyes “her powers they took over, took away who she was, what she was. She was terrified to use them because every time she did she could feel herself grow closer and closer to becoming her.” He paused again to swallow his emotions. “Savitar predicted it and she did too but no one else wanted to hear it everyone wanted to believe that no matter what that their friend wouldn't change. They chose not think of the doppelgänger or the prophecy, to hold onto the hope that their friend would pull through despite having a great and honourable destiny that could change them forever" 

Cisco realised the fear in his voice and gasped under his breath retracting his hand from Winn’s. He could feel the black hole in his stomach swirl as he realised what he said, what he had alluded to. His head began to throb he wasn't sure if it was due To the mountain of emotions he was feeling or if it was a vibe trying to take over. Rubbing his forehead with his fingers he dared to peek at Winn’s reaction. But when he turned he simply saw Winn with a blank look, biting his finger nail violently whilst he stared into space.

"This isn't just about your friend is it?" He said in a monotone voice. "It's about you too." Winn still insisted in staring at nothing as he clenched his jaw and his eyes glazed over. Cisco didn’t speak instead stared at his palm as if it was the most interesting thing in the world. His silence spoke a thousand words to Winn. “Look I know we’ve only known each other for a day but I already consider you my friend and I….” His voice trailed off. “I’m not going to force you to do anything you don’t want , you barely know me but you need to talk to someone….”Winn bit his lip as he became a little rigid. “It’s not good to keep anger and pain bottled up. Trust me I know that better than anyone” Winn croaked with an unintentional amount of emphasis.

Cisco felt his mouth become dry as his nerves took over. He looked over at Winn whose face was completely deadpan other than his eyes which were no longer wide and excited but instead absent and pained. He recognised that expression so well Cisco began to think how much weight that last comment carried. Talking to Winn earlier had made him forget Caitlin and made him feel a little whole again, he owed him this much. Cisco relented and shifted towards Winn. 

“I was murdered.” Winn was completely taken aback by this comment he opened his mouth slightly as if to speak but decided to let Cisco continue. “Yep, that probably wasn’t the best way to start… “he forced a laugh and paused to recollect his thoughts "Anyway the Reverse Flash murdered me and when he found out about my powers he told me that I had a ‘great and honourable destiny’ awaiting me. The person who caused so much pain to the people I loved and literally stabbed me in the heart was almost proud that he gave me powers. Like he was Dr Frankenstein and I was Robert De Niro" He stared and felt the first tear escape from the corner of his eye. 

“Cisco he was a bad guy there’s probably no truth in it …” Winn began to produce a response but cisco interrupted that process

“Evil Wells made me wary but he was just the first sign. Because then I met my doppelganger, Reverb.” he screwed up his eyes and sighed " He had complete control of his powers and enjoyed watching people suffer and cower in front of him. He told me I could be a god, that I was like him. Or as I put it he cloud city vadered me. But still I began to see how easy it would be for me to turn bad. I was scared that whenever I discovered a new move that I would enjoy it too much and let it corrupt me.” He said with resentment. “I held back my progression, I pushed my confidence down so I didn’t become him. But then Caitlin did exactly what I tried to avoid, became her earth 2 doppleganger. Killerfrost.” He paused and shook his head in disbelief “She was kind and caring, she was my best friend for years yet now whenever I think of her all I can see is the pile of body's she left behind. All the compassion in the world didn’t matter when she felt the full extent of her powers. Now I can’t help thinking what if that happens to me?” he faltered. “What if I become like them, like Reverb. Like the Reverse Flash…. Like Cait…KillerFrost .It would be so easy to follow the same path because I know deep down there is this darkness inside of me. If I relax and let my powers take control for even a second I could hurt someone and never be the same again. I’m afraid that who I am now isn’t strong enough to resist them, That I’m going to lose myself and hurt everyone I love.”

“Have you told anyone? About how you’re feeling…they could help.” Winn asked weakly. Cisco looked at Winn who continued to stare mournfully into his eyes. 

“I don’t want them to see me as another Killerfrost in the making and I don’t want them to worry about me. I mean I told Barry my feelings a while back and he told me he felt the same about his powers... but at the time he had no idea what it felt like. I deliberately held back my progression whereas he was and still is constantly trying to become faster. After everything that's happened this year I thought maybe he'd finally understand and believe me when I said that my powers could change me, cause me to hurt them. Yet Despite everything they still refuse the idea that I could turn into reverb. They ignore how easy it would be for me to slip and hurt an innocent person .They see Caitlin as a one off, that It’ll never happen again. But I can’t keep going on like this, thinking that one day I’m going to lose them… lose everything.”

Winn said nothing but looked at Cisco’s now red blotchy face he could see the tear stains so clearly as the now prominent moon reflected from them. He had just poured his heart and soul out but he probably felt more alone than ever. Despite only knowing Cisco for a day his speech broke him.He didn't know if it was because he knew what Cisco was feeling or if it was because he hated seeing someone he admired so much feel this way about themselves. He wanted to make Cisco feel like he wasn't alone but he didn't know what he could do other than utter the words that he despised. 

“My dad....killed half a dozen people." He swallowed as a look of confusion washed over Cisco’s face almost hiding the fact that he had been crying. “What I mean is that you’re not alone... I know what it is to feel like you could just break and lose everything." Cisco’s face suddenly shifted to become more sympathetic. 

“Winn I didn't know...I'm sorry “he muttered wearily 

“Not many people do... and please don't apologise Cisco I don't want to make you feel sorry for me... this is just my shitty attempt to comfort you." He half-heartedly chuckled. Cisco simply smiled a small smile back. 

"When I was younger we were inseparable we did everything together, we enjoyed the same things, had the same mind, the same laugh. People used to tell me that we were so a like and I believed them. And I still believed them when he was being dragged off to prison. I still believe them now “His gaze dropped down. “ He would tell me that we were linked. And although I denied it and denied it I knew that there was that part of him... a part of me deep down waiting to erupt. Every time I got angry I thought it may be the day I snapped and lost myself and everyone I cared about forever.”  
He stopped for a second and felt a tinge of guilt in the back of his mind. “I know I shouldn't be comparing situations.... you're scared of becoming Reverb whereas I'm scared of becoming my father. You're scared you'll lose to your powers and I'm scared I'll lose to my genes. But yet we both feel that there’s a darkness that we don't know if we can control and the worst of it is no one will believe us..." he paused and gave a broken laugh. "Why would they we are just the tech guys… the comic relief. We shouldn't have a bad bone in our body. Right?” He had started to become a little hysterical  
.  
“Winn I…” Cisco murmured trying to calm him down slightly. 

He sighed and breathed deeply."What I’m trying to say is they don't want to believe that their friend could end up Just like every other asshole villain they’ve met. They want to believe that you are happy unless you’re crying. They don’t want to see you stray too far from what you used to be because you give them hope that despite the darkness and pain that there will always be light. You’re their light Cisco and that’s because they can only see the overwhelming good in you. The good you’ve always had and always will have. They want to believe that despite everything you’ll be ok …it's like your Luke Skywalker... the last hope for the galaxy... or your friends at least." Cisco’s face brightened as he laughed a little think of the analogy he made a year back. 

“I guess that would make you Han Solo" he grinned

“I mean if the shoe fits..." 

“Because I definitely see you more of a C3PO maybe JarJa...." Cisco was instantly cut off 

"Don't even utter those words Ramon or I’ll prove to you that Jar Jar Binks is really a Sith lord" they both stared at each other and laughed it made Winn’s heart beat faster when Cisco finally smiled again and it made Cisco feel warm inside to see the dread from Winn’s eyes wash away. 

Winn’s face softened again.. “You don’t have to do this on your own anymore Cisco and even though I've only known you for a short while no matter what happens now, no matter if you do turn into Reverb or kick that darkness’s ass like I know you can, I will always be there for you. And that's a promise because Us nerds need to stick together. Just remember you aren't alone as long as I'm here, you don't have to bottle it up anymore because we can do this together."

“Together.” Cisco whispered grabbing Winn’s hand as if to make a pact. It felt as if the black hole in the pit of Cisco’s stomach has finally closed and instead was replaced a flock of butterflies making him feel so much lighter

"And just for the record.” Winn said matter-of-factly. “I don't think you could ever become your doppelgänger ... I've known you for like a day but I can only imagine you going anti-hero at most. You’re too much of a good egg Cisco Ramon." With that Cisco blushed and almost felt all the tension lift from his heart. For the first time in a long time he truly believed he wouldn't break he didn't know how long it would last but he believed it for now and that's all that mattered. 

“I’ve never been called an egg in such an endearing way before..." Cisco grinned. “Actually I don't think I've ever been called egg." he laughed a little before there was a long silence which allowed the pair to recollect on their discussion. Cisco smiled slightly as he placed his hand gently on Winn’s knee. He began to subconsciously massage it with his thumb moving it up and down so Winn could feel it press on his skin. Winn began to feel flustered but managed to keep calm as Cisco looked down before bringing his head back up again. 

"Winn... I... you need to know that I feel the same way about you." Winn’s heart stopped for a moment as became a little tense. "About you being 'a good egg' I mean." His excitement deteriorated slightly But Winn still smiled sweetly. "Without you noticing that I left. I would have probably gone home and watched some cartoons on Netflix like I have every night for the past 3 months letting my misery eat away at me and I wouldn't have opened up to anyone ...like ever."he placed his fingers on the bridge of his nose and rubbed it in a state of thought. He soon continued. 

"And I still don't know where I'll end up but I know I'm better off for meeting you. Even If I never see you again… “He sighed at that thought. “Your genes don’t define you Winn.” He drew closer to Winn so much so he could smell the spearmint from the chewing gum he had earlier. “But what does define you is your amazing heart.” He slowly moved his hand and placed it on Winn’s chest, he felt it beat as if in time with his. Their eyes locked, he could see the tiny crinkles at the corner of Winn’s eyes the stray hairs from his eyebrows but Cisco drew away once more. 

“And besides...” Cisco muttered. “If you do go bad… I guess I could go bad with you. Give you that moral support.” He laughed slightly to indicate the humour in it all despite the fact that he was really really scared of it becoming a reality.But he guessed that laughter was the best medicine. “I could be Reverb and you could be…”  
“Doll maker?” Winn interrupted shrugging his shoulders. “Kara and Barry wouldn’t stand a chance” 

“I mean with our combined intellect, my powers and your…”

“Seriously amazing evil laugh…” Winn winked. 

“We could rule the multiverse.” Cisco finished. They both burst out with laughter at the thought. Although it was all too a convincing reality to both of them. Yet talking about it in this way made everything seem a little brighter. Almost as if their fears were no longer a problem. Only after shifting in his seat cisco realised how uncomfortable it was.

“You ok there?” Winn’s eyes followed down from Cisco’s disgruntled face to his cute shimmy. 

“Yeah… I just realised how much this seat was hurting my ass.” His face still scrunched up.

“Maybe we should go inside… force Barry and Iris off the sofa. We’ve been gone so long I’m sure they’re lost without us.” Winn raised an eyebrow and smiled considerably. Peering back up to Winn cisco gave a small nod. Waiting for Winn to stand first Cisco stared at him as he rose his arms above his head to stretch he followed Winn’s physique up from his current eye level to where his fingers had just clicked. He bit his lip slightly as he felt his heart jump in his chest. Pushing down on the lumpy furnishing Cisco leaped from his seat and deliberately bumped into Winn. In turn he stumbled slightly but managed to regain his balance. Winn simply just rolled his eyes and with a wonky grin and made his way across the roof. Patting his face making sure the cold winds had whisked away his tears Cisco opened the door to the apartments allowing the warmth to take him by surprise. He looked back at his friend and thought of how lucky he was to have portaled into his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am always really over dramatic with literally every fic I write. I cannot have a story without throwing in Ciscos pain. I guess it's because it often goes so unnoticed on the show itself that I have to write my own canon.  
> But I definitely still believe that Cisco has this anxiety that he's going to become bad otherwise he would be going out on the field constantly and wouldn't have needed a fight to the death to push him forward. And now with what's happened to Caitlin he probably fears it more.
> 
> Anyway hopefully the next chapter will be up tomorrow. We should be half way through now I think there's only 2 more to go.
> 
> Also please leave a comment if you're enjoying it.


	3. Karaoke Talk

The music was still bouncing off of the hollowed walls of Kara’s apartment. Sound waves rushed through the cracks of the floor boards, Cisco could feel it vibrate through his body more than most. His hands had slipped into his pockets as they felt the sensation of warmth from the central heating forming a blanket over them. The door had been left slightly ajar, Winn slipped his hand through the gap and pushed it open to reveal the still bright and exuberant party taking place as if their conversation on the roof never happened. Cisco tucked a wisp of his hair behind his ear whilst he shuffled in shadowing his friend. The beat of 'smooth criminal' was humming in the background as Barry belted a note in a slightly drunken off key. Iris stood next to him moving her hips side to side whilst her lips curved into a loving smile, the light shone off of her ring as if it were a disco ball making her happiness more apparent. She held the mic for dear life as she finally jumped into the song nervously. Although not perfect Barry and Iris harmonising made Cisco fill with warmth. He only needed a few things in his life and one of them was to see Barry and Iris finally happy together as they should be.

As the song faded out Kara snatched the mic out of Barry's hand and screamed "Winnsco!" As loud as she could. Winn turned to Cisco and produced an over exaggerated frown with his eyebrows raised. 

"I think she may be a little drunk." He whispered. 

"That may be so but I still have superhuman hearing" she shouted twice as loud which caused the mic to screech a high pitched note making everyone in the room wince. Winn placed his palm on his face and dragged it down slowly to emphasise his embarrassment. 

“I know where you two have been." Kara teased as Cisco gulped slightly. "You." She pointed with extreme emphasise "have been trying to hide your amazing voices from us." 

"Oh god" Winn muttered under his breath as he shuffled backwards slightly.

"It's time to face the music." Kara said dramatically pushing her mouth as close to the microphone as possibly to create an off bass sound. Despite this both stayed cemented on the ground. 

“Come on Cisco!" Iris chirped from the side. “I’ve never heard you sing before." With that Barry started chanting his name enthusiastically. To his dismay nobody else joined in causing him to turn bright red and sink into his seat. Despite his original resentment Cisco relented and rolled his eyes just to make his friends happy. 

“Fine." He said with dramatic emphasis as if it was a hardship. But he had always loved karaoke and if it wasn't because of his lost friend he would have been first on the 'stage'. He wanted to do it if not for his friends for himself so he could remember Caitlin in the right way. Before Cisco had the chance to move towards the stage Kara threw her hand up as if it would stop him in his tracks.

“This is couples karaoke you can't perform on your own." Kara bit her lip and looked excitedly at Winn. The fact was obviously made up but it was her last resort to encourage him to sing because she desperately wanted to hear his voice. 

"Encase you didn't notice Kara I am the most single man in the multiverse." Winn threw up his hands in a disgruntled tone. "I am not part of a couple therefore couples karaoke isn’t going to work because I have no couple to couple with." 

"Don't worry Cisco’s single too." Barry blurted out before throwing his hand over his mouth 

"Jeez thanks Bar." Cisco retorted in his usual sarcastic tone. 

"Come on Winn it's my birthday, you don't want me to cry on my birthday do you?" Kara frowned and widened her eyes as if she were a begging puppy, The microphone still clasped tightly in her hands. Before Winn had a chance to respond Cisco had tightly gripped his arm and began to drag him towards the stage. 

"Dude what are you doing?" Winn said through gritted teeth as he unsuccessfully tried to dig his heels into the floor to resist being dragged along.

“You know she's not going to stop until we start singing right?" He didn't even bother to turn to face him rather focused all of his energy into getting Winn to the mic "Besides what have you go to worry about? You said you're a great singer." 

"Ok that maybe true but I..." Winn didn't have a chance to finish his response before a microphone was pushed into his clenched fist. He simply stared down at it, sighed and gave Kara a fake smile. At this point she was jumping up and down with joy clapping her hands over and over like an excited child, her pony tail bobbing loosely from side to side. Winn slipped his hand in his back pocket, nervous, and felt his hands become clammy. He glared at Cisco who had a cheesy smile as if he were in on the act. He was bouncing on his heels a little almost as if he were excited or maybe it was nerves, he wasn't able to discriminate between the two but whatever it was he knew it was good for him. It was good that he was able to get past his bad memories. And Winn hoped that he had played a part in that, although he kind of regretted it because he really did not want to sing in front of his boss or in front of anyone. He felt a lump form in his throat and began to breath in short bursts. It was almost as if were going to throw up at any moment. He wanted to run back out of the door but instead he stay put. Anxiety was boiling inside of him but he still wanted to stay. Stay and sing with Cisco because he really liked Cisco like a whole lot. And besides if Cisco was brave enough to admit his deepest fears then he was brave enough to do this. Anyway he was among friends here, the worst thing that could happen would be to do something embarrassing which they'd joke about for a few weeks but soon forget about. In that moment he decided that the world wasn't going to end and he was going to sing. 

"Barry had special input in picking this song out for you guys." Kara hoped over to the karaoke box and slammed down on the play button. They looked expectantly at the TV screen as they waited for lyrics to appear. ‘Put a little love in your heart.' Faded on to the blue background as the first key kicked in.

“Why this song? I hate this song!" Winn shouted to no one in particular whilst his nerves rose again. But Barry and Kara just started giggling uncontrollably. The first word turned yellow on the screen and Cisco began to sing in perfect tune Winn as well as Iris' jaw dropped at the sheer beauty of his voice. A feeling of confidence overcame Winn as he harmonised his way into the second verse whilst maintaining his adoring gaze towards Cisco. Iris looked on in complete shock at the two beautiful voices she'd never expected to hear from two people so reluctant to go on. Barry on the other hand had a smug I told you so look about him. Cisco paused for a while allowing Winn to finish belting a verse, his voice was smooth and powerful and it infected his every being. Before long the song was over and everyone stood clapping and cheering as if it were a standing ovation at the end of a Broadway show. However Kara just sat next to Lena, still snorting at the inside joke only her and Barry knew. Winn and Cisco locked eyes and smiled at each other both breathing heavily due to exhaustion. Their hearts began to race a little as they stared at one another with admiration, resisting every urge to move closer. 

 

~ 

 

The night had worn on and all source of light from the outside had disappeared below the city and had been replaced with the dim subtle lamps of Kara’s apartment. It was quieter now. And besides the occasional screech of the tables and chairs that James, J'onn and Alex were valiantly trying to move back into place everything was peaceful. Lena had tucked herself into Kara’s bed some time ago after her energy had depleted quickly from all the singing and all the tugging on her arm. Maggie was scrolling through her phone slightly dazed and ready to leave, the artificial light it produced lit up her corner of the room clearly. Barry and Iris were asleep on the sofa, Barry’s feet were propped up on the footstall and his arm fell over the side almost brushing with the ground. Whereas Iris had rested her head on his chest, hair tied in a messy ponytail, her hand was placed tenderly onto his stomach and her mouth was curved into a comfortable smile. Their light snores hummed throughout the room. Kara had made a pillow fort out of everything soft she could find in the house and was now sprawled out on top of it, she lay face down in a deep slumber that no one would even attempt to wake her from. Cisco and Winn, on the other hand, were sitting huddled together at the dinner table watching weird conspiracy theory videos on Winn’s laptop. Cisco had nestled his head onto Winn’s shoulder and allowed an earphone to balance on his ear, he felt a little drowsy which was surprising considering his insomnia normally kept him awake well past 5am. Winn cupped a mug of coffee in his palms and sipped it ever so slowly despite it being Luke warm at best. After finishing a video about The secret lizard people Winn finally decided he had enough and pushed down on the top of the laptop to close it. Somehow slightly bewildered yet intrigued by what he had just been watching . Sitting up straight Cisco rubbed his eyes and muttered.

“I don’t even remember why we were on YouTube to begin with…” Winn raised his hand up slightly as if he were going to speak but then just decided to shrug his shoulders.

“Hey guys." James interjected pulling up a seat next to Winn who gave him a small wave and then retracted his hand quickly. "J'onn was just about to drive us home. Which means you should probably be getting home too." He looked at Winn and pulled the coffee mug out of his friend’s loose grip, Winn flailed his arms trying to retrieve it. Losing energy fast he decided to flop on the table in defeat. 

"But it's not even that late..." he mumbled through the table. 

"It's 2am, to most people that's late and besides a certain superhero team might need to save the world again tomorrow. We can't wait around all night." James said as he finally placed the cup on the table. Winn forced himself back up and groaned causing Cisco to laugh under his breath. 

“You know if he wants to stay I can portal him back home just before I wake up Westallen from their cute nap." Winn’s eyes lit up at the proposition of travelling through a portal. Interlocking his hands he began to make a begging motion towards James with the sickliest smile he could muster. James produce an over exaggerated sigh and was just about to relent when J'onn appeared from behind.

"I don't think that would be a very good idea." He said in an almost stern tone. Winn threw himself back down on the table in despair. "I'm the designated driver for a reason and I think you're a couple over the limit to be opening breaches Mr Ramon." 

"Pft. Come on that isn't even a real rule. “Cisco coaxed.

"All I know is that I'm not rescuing you if you end up stuck between dimensions." He folded his arms and produced a small but caring smile. Cisco sighed 

"Well looks like we'll be staying the night then." He peered over at the sofa Barry and Iris looked comfortable anyway. Winn jolted back up with glee. 

“Yesss." He fist pumped in celebration "That means you can help out at the DEO tomorrow..." Cisco chocked on his saliva as Winn slapped him hard on his back beaming "I mean you're like the master of gadgets and I have got some big ideas that I for the life of me cannot figure out." J'onn raised his eyebrow. 

"I'm not sure if it's the best idea to let an unidentified metahuman in a government base" 

"Oh come on J'onn let me win one." He pleaded. "And you know Cisco’s a freaking badass. I mean you told me all about the battle with the music man who came from down the lane. He could really help out a lot." J'onn looked from Winn to Cisco who was now smiling in an angelic manner. 

"I suppose you may have a point." J'onn admitted "I'm sure one morning won't hurt. But try not to use you powers because then I'd have to put you on our files and I'm sure nobody would be pleased with the extra paperwork." Cisco two finger saluted in agreement where as Winn almost fell off of his chair with excitement. J'onn regretted his decision already. James rose from his seat, proceeded to stride behind Winn and push his weight down on His shoulders.

"We should get going." He dug his fingers into Winn’s shoulder blades subconsciously. Retracting his neck inwards, Winn’s face fell slightly with irritation and plucked James' fingers off one by one. Although he shuddered a little he generally appeared unfazed. He then looked towards Cisco who wore a soft smile making his heart flutter slightly. 

"I thought it would be better if I stay here." Winn urged. “I mean. I'm not sure if Kara’s going to wake up within the next month or so and someone needs to bring my buddy to the DEO." Winn realised he over emphasised on the word buddy which caused his nerves to rile up. Cisco had started to notice his mannerisms, at how he twitched his eyes slightly when he did something awkward and at how he bit down on his tongue as if to stop himself from speaking. He then swallowed his pride and lied through his teeth.

"Yeah that would be a good idea I'm actually really really bad with directions.... I mean I can't find my way anywhere... like ever ." Winn scooted around on his chair and smirked at J'onn. 

"Man that is the lamest excuse I've ever heard." James laughed.

"Especially considering Mr Ramon’s powers allow him to see into the vibrations of the universe making it very easy to locate almost anywhere." J'onn added

Cisco puffed out his cheeks as he tried to think of a dignified response but came to nothing. 

"Ok. Ok. But if you make me come with you guys you have to let me sit in the front." Winn said disgruntled.

James shook his head. "That's never going to happen." 

"What why not?" 

"Because you are the smallest and the smallest sits in the middle."

Cisco’s eyes flicked back and forth from James to Winn as he began to sip slowly on his cola enjoying the 'argument',

"But it's so cramped." Winn whined. “And I'm not even the smallest. Maggie is."

"Yeah but I'd rather take my chances forcing you in the middle than Maggie." 

“Pfft. I could take magg..."Winn didn't even bother to finish the sentence. 

"Look Winn its late...." 

"I know. I know. But can't I Just.."

"Can't you just...."

Suddenly they were interrupted by a disgruntled Alex yelling across the room 

"Just let Winn stay. I'm really tired and want to go home." She threw her hand down on the table hard to emphasise her sleep deprived anger. The bottles shook as did Winn. Although after realising she was in his favour he folded his arms and smirked once again. 

"Fine." James muttered. “But I am not going to feel sorry for you when you start complaining about back aches from Kara’s floor." 

"Sure sure." He threw his hands up and shooed James away. He beamed at Cisco who had his hand held over his mouth in silent admiration at Winn’s 'bargaining skills'. Alex pushed off of her stall and snatched her coat from the table, she held Maggie steady as they moved towards the door. 

"I'm sure I'll see you two tomorrow." She gave a quick nod and Cisco responded with a polite wave. Maggie mumbled something of a goodbye but she was squinting her eyes indicating that a bad headache was forming. 

"It was good meeting you Cisco." James held out his hand which Cisco took. “I hope I see you around some time." 

"Yeah you too." He smiled back. James ruffled Winn’s hair before heading outside. The faded music had finally came to halt. Now all that could be heard was the whistling of the wind and the light footsteps of J'onn who was lovingly placing a soft pink blanket over Kara, which she responded to by curling up ever so slightly more. He smiled at Winn and Cisco as he crept past. Their thoughts were so prominent and loud that he could instantly read them without even wanting to. But that always happened with ones which procured such affection always were. 

"Agent Schott I'm trusting you to keep an eye on Mr Ramon tomorrow. Please don't let me down or do anything stupid." 

"Of course I won't." He replied graciously as he threw an over exaggerated wink at Cisco. J'onn looked at Winn and then turned to Cisco who shook his head and mimed an explosion, complete with sound effects. J'onn smiled warmly but he was now really regretting his decision. He said a kind Goodbye to Cisco before checking the perimeter one last time and finally leaving.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The final chapter will be up tomorrow. Originally this was combined with the last chapter but I decided there was far too much going on to post as a whole so this is why this chapter isn't the most exciting. But anyway I hoped you enjoy./  
> Please leave a comment and make my day.


	4. Pillow talk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> prepare for the fluff.

The apartment was almost silent, all that could be heard were the whistles from deep sleep and the hum of the central heating. They were alone. Cisco could hear Winn’s breath grow heavier, deeper and his heart rate rose with it. He anxiously clenched the empty cola bottle, the touch of the cool glass contrasted to his sweaty palms. His eyes followed from the empty bottle, carefully up Winn’s body past his dark purple tie that hung loosely around his neck to his lips. But he then coward away slightly deciding it was a better idea to focus back on picking off the coke label. Winn on the other hand was so fixated on Cisco’s deep captivating eyes that he failed to notice his pining. 

After a moment of saying nothing Cisco rose from his seat and stalked to the kitchen. Winn snapped out of his trance and gazed reluctantly for not having said anything. Cisco pulled open the fridge door where the harsh light illuminated his flushed face he grabbed another bottle of Cola and a bottle of Fanta for Winn. His throat was dry and it seemed like the temperature of the room had sky rocketed within the past 2 minutes. He looked at his palm and then at Winn who was staring innocently in his direction . If he believed in him then maybe he should believe in himself too, be a little braver. He stuck out his tongue in concentration and Focused a small energy boom on the bottle cap. It popped off easily and he felt the same. He turned to see Winn smiling stupidly still in awe of his powers.

“Agent Schott huh?” Cisco broke the silence and began to chug his drink allowing small streams of cola to drip down his chin. “It’s kind of hot.” Winn felt his cheeks turn red. “Like 1990s agent Mulder and Scully hot.”

Cisco hoped back to the table and opened the bottle of Fanta in a matter of seconds still impressed he had the confidence to do so. He slid it over to Winn who picked it up amused.

“Agent is just a title anyone can get. “His eyes were still wide with excitement. “But your ‘vibe’ dude. You actually have powers. Powers you use to help people… and opening bottles apparently.” He chuckled. “That’s way more badass than any agent something.”

“Hmm I suppose you’re right.” Cisco scratched the back of his ear and looked complacent.“Vibe does sound way better than agent.” Winn screwed up his face and shook his head.

“That’s not how it’s supposed to work we’re meant to go back and forth saying each other are better until we agree we are both amazing and hug or whatever.”

“I guess I never heard of that rule.” Cisco leaned over onto the table and smiled mischievously. However he quickly stood up straight again. “ Anyway I'm not that badass. I’m never going to let vibe reach his full potential for obvious reasons.” he sighed. 

Winn simply titled his head and smiled. “You’re still the coolest guy I’ve met.”

“Really?” His forehead wrinkled in disbelief. “You know stereotypical ‘cool guys'’ he made an effort to air quote “don’t normally start crying within the first few hours of meeting someone.” He folded his arms self-conscious.

“Don’t be too harsh on yourself dude. None of what happened was your fault and it’s more than impressive that you could conceal it for as long as you did, that really shows you're strong enough to control your powers.Anyway I was just happy to be there for you.” He whispered affectionately. “And besides I think guys who are in touch with their emotions are pre-tty cool.” He bit his lip and gazed up at cisco whilst tapping his fingers on the table.

“You sound just like an old aunt." Cisco scoffed although he appreciated it.

“Well I am fond of hard candy.” Winn laughed nervously.

“Anyway I am definitely not the coolest guy you’ve met…” He paused to think. “What about James? You’ve known him for a long time right? I’d say He’s pretty badass as well as being tall dark and handsome all you could want in a guy.”

“Yeah James is a good friend.” He put special emphasis on that word. “But you’re….something else.” Winn pushed up from his chair and slowly shifted around so he was standing directly in front of Cisco. He peered down at him biting the inside of his cheek. Cisco hated that even Winn was somehow taller than him but he clenched his jaw and craned his neck to regain a form of superiority. He smirked a little almost in defiance.

“Go on tell me why I’m so much better than James Olsen…. Other than my love of sugar and amazing voice of course.” Winn drew slightly closer.

He spoke out the side of his mouth in a joking manner "Well you didn’t hear it from me.” He paused. “But Mr James Olsen said that Star Wars was a little overrated.” 

Cisco threw his mouth open and placed his hand on his heart in over dramatized shock. “I can never look at him in the same way again.” He put on a false cold tone and stared towards the celling. Winn inched closer still as Cisco’s gaze fell back down onto his ocean eyes that were dancing with light.

“Yeah Exactly.” Winn exclaimed throwing out his arms causing Cisco to stumble backwards a little. "How can such a beautifully told story be overrated. You have Ewoks for the kids, kickass space battles, an amazing soundtrack, the whirlwind romance between Han and Luke.” He paused for effect.

“Wait for real?” Cisco said a little too loudly. Winn produced an over exaggerated look of confusion

“Did that not happen in your earth’s version? Hmm that's weird..." His eyes flickered as he searched around the room for nothing in particular. He placed a finger on his lips as if to think which of course just drew Cisco’s eyes to them more. Cisco remembered the roof top and the analogy that was made. He was Luke and Winn was Han. This was some nerdy pick up line. Cisco smiled a small and genuine smile.

“You are a terrible liar Winn Schott.” He whispered as he moved closer so that their hands brushed. His heart began to beat faster only allowing him to take small sips of breaths. His eyes stayed fixated on Winn’s lips as he felt Winn’s eyes fall to his. He smirked a little "Although I like your ending so much better."

Cisco leant in far enough so their lips touched. He pressed them together softly at first allowing them to glide over each other and then He pressed harder. His eyes fell shut and his emotions took full control of his body. Winn raised his hand slowly up Cisco’s spine only stopping when it became entangled in his hair. Cisco tilted his head to gain a firmer grip causing his nose to lightly push against Winn’s. Their body’s moved closer and closer until nothing was left in between. They stayed there embracing one another until they became breathless. Cisco rubbed the surface of Winn’s cheek tenderly as he felt Winn’s lips trace over his to pull away.

Although their lips separated their foreheads remained close. Winn grinned from ear to ear.

Cisco dragged his thumb down the side of his face and laughed "My mom always told me not to get into long distance relationships." Their hearts were beating rapidly and the smell of Winn’s spearmint chewing gum was now prominent in both of their breath.

“If you have a portable breach lying around maybe it would make things a little easier.We could do this more often.” Winn bit his lip losing himself in Cisco’s eyes once more.

“Did you just seduce me to steal my tech?”

“Something like that.”

Before Cisco could respond Winn had knotted his fists into his t-shirt and drawn him closer. He kissed him harder than before, with more fire, more passion. They pressed their lips firmly together and moved backwards bumping into a table on the way. They could feel the heat rush through them as Cisco threw both hands on the side of Winn’s jaw pulling him in harder against him. Winn bit down on his bottom lip as They heard a large crash to the left of them. Although it made them freeze They took their time pulling away. Cisco let his hand run through Winn’s hair and they allowed their lips to brush once more before separating completely. They turned to the direction of the noise.

“Oh really come on. Again?” Winn said through short breath. Kara was stood frozen next to a lamp shattered on the floor. She gulped and gave a nervous smile.

“It’s just I heard table scrape so I sat up and then I saw… I tried to leave but… I’m so sorry.” She stammered. 

Winn threw his hands up in slight annoyance. "But normally you can sleep through anything.”

“I know. Well I don’t know but… It must be that when the alcohol wears off all my powers enhance back to their full extent really quickly. Which includes my super hearing.”She said as she bent down to pick up the larger fragments of the broken lamp.

“That’s not how alcohol is meant to work.” Winn said louder more annoyed at himself than anything.Suddenly there was a stir from the sofa as Iris slid from Barry’s chest and sat up still dazed.

“What’s going on?” she murmured.

“Nothing.” Both Kara and Winn said simultaneously although the strain in Winns voice was far clearer. She squinted a little as she covered her mouth to yawn. Then she looked at Cisco then to Winn then back to Cisco. Cisco’s hair was messy and clothes dishevelled whereas Winn’s tie hung looser around his neck than before. Both were slightly red and flustered.

“oh…OH” Iris whispered slightly louder than she hoped in realisation. She looked to Cisco who raised his eyebrows with a wide grin and shimmied in excitement. Iris smiled back and giggled a little under her breath.

“Look just pretend this never happened… I’ll go and …I’m so sorry Winn.” Kara stuttered and looked like she was going to cry from embarrassment. Winn, who was still frowning, face suddenly softened as he shook his head ever so slightly.

“Its fine Kara don’t worry about.” He walked towards her and bent over to help, hugging her on the way down to reassure her. "I mean if I can't rely on you to know all my business then who can I?." She gave him a weak smile in response. 

“At least we know we can do this sort of thing in front of Barry.” Cisco joked as he pulled a redvine out of his jacket pocket and placed it between his teeth. Barry was still in wrapped in a profound sleep snoring none the wiser.

 

Still with a guilty conscious Kara made herself busy by being a good hostess. She found an old blow up double bed in a storage cupboard and offered it to Cisco so he didn’t have to sleep on the cold hard floor. Cisco declined stating that his insomnia was a bitch and that he wouldn’t be asleep any time soon anyway. So instead Iris took her up on the offer because in all fairness the sofa felt small and uncomfortable after sleeping on it for a long period of time. She caressed Barry’s cheek and whispered his name to try and wake him up so they could move from the sofa. As Barry was a heavier sleeper than Iris had first thought she had to resort to shaking him awake. He blinked and grumbled in confusion but as soon as he found himself on the blow up mattress he fell straight back into his deep sleep. Kara still slightly embarrassed eventually took her leave to her room so there were enough chairs for everyone. But she promised coffee and pastries in the morning as an apology for her mistake. The moment gone Winn and Cisco decided to retire to the sofa.

They sat and talked for another hour or so. They talked about work, inventions, high school and superheroes they had met. Cisco was very keen on meeting Kara’s cousin whereas Winn wanted a trip on the wave rider. “It could be just like doctor who.” He had whispered. Their conversation then switched to convention talk and despite Ciscos assumptions Winn had never been to a comic-con. Cisco then excitedly proposed that they should go to the next one together. They fell into an in depth discussion on who they should dress as and whether they should go as far as having matching cosplay or not. But at around 4am Cisco could see Winn’s eyes start to droop. He looked beyond tired but he didn’t want to leave him awake on his own. Cisco had smiled at that thought, the only person who ever did that for him was Caitlin. His friend Caitlin.

Eventually for Winn’s sake, not his, Cisco had shifted so he lay almost up right on the edge of the sofa this allowed Winn to lay awkwardly under his arm in the crevasse at the back. Kara’s sofa was soft but small so Winn had resorted to covering half of Ciscos body with his own. Cisco may have moved somewhere else so Winn could fall asleep without him but he prefered this so much more than to lying on a few cushions scattered on the ground. Although it was cramped and their legs hung over the side neither complained and Winn was just happy to be so close to Cisco. He rested his cheek on Cisco’s chest, he was able to feel his heartbeat flow through him providing a form of warm, comforting sensation. He slid his hand carefully upwards and reached for the strand of Cisco hair that was closest to him. He twirled it in his fingers for a second before placing it back down and to admire it from below.

“Your hair is so pretty.” He whispered in an almost dream state. Cisco wanted to reply with a witty remark but decided against it. He sat and smiled allowing the weight to fall from his shoulders and became the most relaxed he had been since the day the particle accelerator exploded. He raised his arm slightly and interlocked it with Winns. He stroked it lightly with his thumb, Winn felt it move up and down, up and down. He smiled subconsciously and sighed, his body became lighter and his eyes fell shut as he drifted into a deep comfortable sleep. Cisco watched him for a while. Watched him breath heavily and listen to the smallest of snores escaping his body. Winn shuffled unknowingly pressing himself closer to him. Cisco felt his warmth creep up his body as he tried to suppress a smile.

When Dante died he felt empty. When Caitlin turned he could feel nothing but pain and anger. It had been eating away at him little by little piece by piece. He was scared and afraid but he didn’t want to become a burden especially after everything that had happened in the last year. It felt impossible to reach out so he just grinned and bared it but that made him feel alone. He hadn’t wanted to come to Kara’s party. He’d protested and tried to make excuses stating how busy he was although he hadn’t designed a non-work related invention in months. He thought how Caitlin could have suddenly returned in his absence although he knew she was gone some part of him would still have wanted to reach out. But yet if he hadn’t come to the party he would never have met Winn. 

Winn didn’t fix his wounds but he may have saved him from falling further. He provided him comfort when he made him feel a little more human again. Although the pain and anger was still there, he finally felt that it was time he could try and work past it. That he had a reason to. He needed Winn more than he could ever imagine, more than Winn could ever know. It wasn’t just because of the reassurance he had given him on the roof and the fact that they both feared losing the same thing but because he could make him laugh without fail. He had someone he could gush about movies to, someone who he could invent with, someone who made his heart beat faster than it ever had before and someone who believed in him. Even if things didn't work out and they remained friends He still had someone who believed in him even when he couldn't believe in himself. And he had someone he could place his hope in when everything looked bleak. That was all he truly needed. 

Cisco allowed his eyes to close as he fell asleep truly happy for the first time in years.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if the kiss scene was terrible but this is literally the first time I have ever written a fanfiction based around a relationship that goes both ways. (I have never written a kiss scene before I dont know what a kiss is)
> 
> So that's the end of the story. Thank you all so much for taking the time to read my stupid little fic about two characters who may never meet. I hope you enjoyed it almost as much as I enjoyed writing it. I may write more Cisco/Winn in the future maybe something about that comic con trip. Im also really up for writing Cisco/Cindy if anyone has any suggestions. (although I probably wont get a chance to write it for another month or so.)  
> Anyway thank you so much for reading and leave a comment to make me happy.


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